My Status: Homeless, but housed Woman Veteran; Unable to Work, Suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/Depression, receiving zero monetary benefits.
Level of Education: Bachelor's Degree
Age: 38
Event:
Project Connect Fair at Grace Church in Tempe Arizona
My Expectation/Hope: Clothing, Job Resources, Anything to help improve my state of mind.
My Outcome: Panic Attack and Increased Hatred for our People and System. Less Faith Church Programs and Stand-Downs/Help Fairs.
I have been waiting a year and a half for help from the Department of Veteran's Affairs to approve my claim for Post Traumatic Stress. I've been diagnosed 8 times by private doctors, but SURPRISE, the VA's dragging it's feet. If you watch the news, then you've heard the problems facing our Veterans. This story is not about another VA failure, but another unhelpful "Help The Homeless" efforts put on by the community. It's time these people get a clue.
I hope you can gain a better perspective from our community (HOMELESS VETERANS/WOMEN IN NEED) and fix these dog and pony shows to make it more worthwhile and help us get less sick.
Just entering a big building standing next to smelly homeless people makes me sick. To be blunt, "they" are the lowest life forms on the planet - so it's natural to want to puke after standing in a line for an hour next to fat and ugly dirtbags, not to mention large crowds trigger me and I want to start screaming obscenities about filth. I do my best to laugh, breath, count, etc, but I seem to lose my mind every time. I call the homeless population "they" because I am not one of them and I'm certain I am not alone. Even if I were on the streets, I'm still not one of them at heart. Perhaps "they" were once like me; leading a normal life, successful businessman/woman, doing what society expects from us; like work, building a family, living the American Dream, etc. I've found most homeless people were once middle class citizens who worked for a living and had kids, showered everyday, wore decent clothes, but something tragic happened. Whatever it is or was job loss, tragedy, injury, illness, whatever - knocked us down to the "Low Class/No Class" level. What breaks my heart the most - is seeing our Veterans go through this. I met a nice one on the way in, baffled by his ankle monitoring bracelet. His PTSD got to him and he still pays for it. We talked about the two wars he's served in and my heart saddens with the fact that we're both standing there in the line with homeless people. He mentions we just spent 7 trillion on the development of a major aircraft and that amount of money could house every homeless veteran in the United States. I'm happy to hear this insight, but mad that we fight and the Government spends it's money on fighter planes to replace us. They have failed to take care of us and continue to run forward with ways to phase us out. That's a whole 'nother article in itself.
Personally, I expect to be taken care of by the people and the government after having served. I was expected to take care of you, and now I believe it's your turn to take care of us. I've given it my all to pick myself back up after these tragedies and staying pretty, happy and healthy has been a job in itself. Honestly, staying pretty isn't that hard when I'm naturally blessed and GOD knows not everyone is - especially the homeless, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve a fighting chance and Housing a Homeless person is not the single solution to this problem.
I'm housed and I've tried to keep my class, cleanliness, drive to succeed, etc., but I suffer from depression, so getting back to middle class hasn't been easy. I can't work and I notice I'm just getting worse, so that's why I go to these dog and pony shows - in hopes of somehow finding my way back to the Middle Class. Homelessness not only hurts our eyes, but it hurts my heart, society, and I think I've finally figured out the reason. The "normal" people don't have a clue how to solve the problem and now having been there countless times, I think I've finally come up with a solution.
Before I get to the solution, first I have to tell you a little bit about the latest Dog and Pony show brought to you by Project Connect. I promise you'll get a laugh or two and hopefully gain some inspiration to help make the change. Have you read their website? More Info Overload - Garbage. They didn't even advertise such a big event. I mean, crap even Corey from FOX News 10 was there. I can't wait to read his positive/flowery story about the church and how bad the problem is.
It was held at Grace Community Church in Tempe. The grounds were large enough to accommodate the whole Phoenix Homeless Population and I'm sure the congregation is just the happiest bunch of middleclassmen in the world. I observed cute and clean young men and pretty blond girls and women of all ages all wearing their United T-Shirts. Gave me such a warm and fuzzy feeling inside to see what I thought were NORMAL people. Conflicting feelings came up of thanks and anger, knowing I'll never be like them again - nor would I want to. After about an hour of waiting in line and filling out their intake form, my neurons started firing at rapid speed and panic attack hit and I couldn't tell what bothered me worse, the ugly people or the pretty people, the waiting game or the force of conformity to 'their rules.' Either way, I knew I'd have to write this off. I guess my purpose is to blow the cover of those writing this event off as a contribution to the community - more waste of taxpayer dollars.
Finally In the Building
Welcome Miss Wilson, take this bracelet and enjoy breakfast in a room of 150 smelly people and wait for your own personal chaperon (pretty people) to help you through the fair. I don't know what I envisioned, but what I got was pissed off. First - they're out of breakfast and have offered me french toast with jelly and a nasty pastry with yellow frosting. I could puke just describing it. Secondly, drawing from my 'event planning' and attending experience, I could already see this was going to be a flop - emotional highs and lows, anger, frustration, maybe something good finally?
I was troubled by the idea of being separated by my group and I was being asked to wait to spend the day with a chaperon/total stranger. I started to panic, looking for my group and Ms. Pretty wanted to force me into the room when my other's had already gotten through somehow. I felt caged in - imprisoned. They could've just done an intake interview and guided me to the locations that could help - but I guess their idea was to pair me up with some Christian to hug me and tell me things were gonna be okay. I walk my walk solo, so my reaction -- was no thanks and I was starting to get pissed off at even Jesus.
Off on the mini-shuttle. I thought to myself - what a joke. The staging area was breakfast only and hurry up and wait for your personal guide to send you across campus to lunch. Nice thought at first, but created panic - definitely not PTSD friendly - WEIRD! I also suffer from separation anxiety - being left behind in a war causes that. Where are my people - I'm being attacked by nasty homeless and pretty volunteers in shirts, forcing me in a room with nasty food - separating me from my driver. Deep breaths Ms. Wilson. I took it upon myself to go against the rules, because just one hour into it, I'm hot, angry, and disgusted. I find the shuttle and we meetup in the lunch area, passing a shower booth. Thank God, the dirty have a chance to shower up.
Showers brought to you by Shower Power - all pretty with their booth of advertising garbage for I look at the email address of the company - same name as my rapist. Nice move God. Thanks, but no thanks - first hit by enemy fire. My combat skills kick in - quick, locate the positive - the dirty people can get a shower. They should've located it at the entrance point. the next dog and pony show. I wonder to myself - why don't they just drive down to the local homeless shelter and around the city everyday? And what on earth are their advertising materials going to do for me? Totally self serving.
LUNCH IS SERVED
I was expecting something good, catered maybe? Phoenix is the largest city in the State; the home
Time to Hit the Booths
My situational awareness is high, I've been through this before. Booths everywhere with cards and beautifully printed brochures - I'm not on the lookout for warfare - just mad, my enemy will not keep me down.
As a Homeless Veteran, you go to these things hoping for help - immediate action - my driver killed that opportunity - I have 10 minutes to get what I need. Wait, isn't he a member of the 'help the homeless community' and doesn't he know I suffer from PTSD and can't get around? My mission quickly shifts to blowing the whistle and making a wasteland of the whole concept of a Homeless Fair and 'help for the homeless programs in general. I gather my materials, photographs, and exit the building.
We military types hate wasting time and when we're forced to, the good ones develop Hurry Up
and Wait Syndrome and if there's no positive outcome, then it's typically called Fraud, Waste or Abuse. I categorize this event in the WASTE bucket. So, I put myself in the shoes of an actual homeless person living on the streets and put on the hat as a journalist. Is this beneficial for 'that girl' or 'that guy'? Does a business card and brochure help a homeless person? I guess we could all use our Obama Phones once we get back to our couch or cardboard box to chase the American Dream, but I'm concerned about the ones that can't and the ones that don't. That is why I call these events dog and pony shows. We really don't want your advertising materials, you can give that to your funders. Some of the population lack the motivation and the know how to get these needs met so the problem might need to be tackled by force.
So the good old regulars were there - Department of Economic Security. Please fill out the form and go to the long line at the DES office at a later date to get your foodstamp card. I could've just went straight to that office and accomplished that in one day on my own. In fact, I did do that, but it actually took 3 trips to get food money. I could destroy that welfare program in another article.
Housing Programs
Yep, they were there. The regulars like the city's homeless Shelter (CASS), other housing programs, even ones for Veterans. That's great, I'm glad they've decided to come sit around for a day, although I think they're better used in mobile forces to really attack the enemy. Wouldn't it be awesome to create a whole Combat Team with a Mission of just picking up the sick, homeless, and impoverished and get them to safety and back on their feet? If I put it together, I know it would be fun. We certainly wouldn't provide you a form and offer you the hurry up and wait syndrome. We would just take you directly to the open bed - ready for re-entry or entry to the path of success.Housing Providers offering Business Cards/Brochures: WASTE.
Upward Bound - Military Education Program - waste - I have my degree and am way too old for the GI Bill. If a veteran knows they have the GI Bill, then we already know we can spend it. Give us more credit and take your brochures elsewhere. Most know that we can profit from our GI Bill and use it to take care of ourselves. Offer us something worthwhile. They say fully funded, but you know we pay the price through our GI Bill.
Grand Veterans Village - Housing Programs
Take a brochure and wait in line. I'm assuming it's longer than a 4 month waiting list like the VA Healthcare System. No thanks. Got immediate assistance for a woman woman living in a run down unsafe living environment? Sign me up, but STOP CALLING US FEMALE VETERANS. We hate it.
Campus Kitchen - Successful Program but Scary Thought
I've heard several success stories from the Campus Kitchen, but Food Service is probably not the best industry for the homeless population. Just think of that citizens! Training the homeless population to serve you food. Excellent choice right off the street. Yum!
The Real Solution
We could use our little mobile combat systems and GPS' and fleet vehicles to pickup and transport our people to the closest shelter, get them the medic/showers as needed or directly to your housing program that sets you up with every service you need to normalize. Get them some haircuts, suits, high heels, prozac and send them off back into basic training on how to be normal citizen again - with a job that pays. I'm certain we could use the recruit command model to locate jobs for the homeless population. We're definitely going to need a counseling service to get through the trauma and stay motivated.
But nope, our missionaries are still sitting around in unsuspecting buildings at random times bringing people together to put a bandaid on their wound - here - sign up for the waiting list. It's more of a smack in the face to just offer business cards, applications, and an even bigger slap in the face to allow companies like WELLS FARGO to attend. More pretty people offering stuff that homeless and impoverished people have zero use for. I can't get a flippin job, let alone a bank account. WASTE.
I think my suggestion is to just stop using Churches to do the dirty work. Get a Homeless Combat Team and nurse these casualties back to health. It's a war on poverty and we can't win it if we don't have the right combat skills. Either fix the problem or kill us all, but stop throwing us your advertising materials and asking us to wait in line.
If you have the beds, then find the homeless and fill it. If you have a facility, then offer a full spectrum program to first meet the basic needs from Welfare and then migrate to a full working class citizen status. Until then, the War continues and our government continues to fail the people and WE ALL pay the price.
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