Monday, July 28, 2014

Veterans Village of San Diego - Review

Veterans Village of San Diego - Military Dogs are Treated Better than VVSD Vets.

Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation for Veterans.
"VVSD assists homeless veterans who have substance abuse and/or mental health issues, including men and women who have recently returned from Iraq and Afghanistan."

What qualifies me to write this review? 
I served the military for a combined 9 years of active and contractor service, have 5 years experience in program administration, hold a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice with lifelong studies and experience with drugs, crime, and criminal behavior.  I also have personal experience having been a short term drug abuser, also suffered from Post Traumatic Stress, and experienced Chronic Homelessness.  I was a resident of VVSD for 6 months, so I offer a unique perspective from both sides of the fence - LITERALLY.  So as you read, keep in mind, I was once a highly regarded successful woman striving to get back to that after a few missteps.

When I was a resident of VVSD, I often looked over the fence at a building where I gained an immeasurable amount of knowledge/experience working with government war tools/tactics, business efficiency programs, etc. so I'm certainly qualified to tell you if a government program works or if it's broken.  I longed to be back there, wearing my suit, managing these multi-million dollar programs, but I was traumatized so I put my energy in getting better and after leaving will use it to improve the program or atleast bring attention to yet another FAILURE.  

I know you'll support this venture and make necessary improvements because you care as much as I do about our Veterans, Our Society, Our Budget and Our Purpose.  Shut em down or get some new staff.

CALL TO ACTION
VVSD is yet another program failure, but has great potential as long as changes are noted and made.  The angry woman in me wants a total take-down; a closure, a lawsuit, an apology, a check, but that would be be self serving.  I don't seek to 'make a name for myself' -- just simply change and a simple response of "YES WE CAN" and Yes We Will and we'll do it for the betterment of the whole program.  And I'd like all of the workers across the fence and the Program Sponsors to take special interest in this program and others like it.  Please add them to the "warfighter" population since Veterans are often forgotten when considering acquisitions, technology programs, and other necessities that are governed by the Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command.  If it is not under the umbrella, then it should be created or added.  

Perhaps big contractors like Booz Allen Hamilton, Scientific Applications International Corp, General Dynamics or other players could step it up a notch and profit on dealing with the aftermath of the Wars we fought.  It's not just the Gulf War, or OEF/Operation whatever or whatever the latest acronym is that we supported, fought in, or suffered from - there is also the DRUG WAR that goes unnoticed - and it's abundantly clear we're losing that war.

You would not believe my experience.  Read On.

THIS VETERAN became worse than when I arrived and so did others.

Initial Shock

So, basically, you check in, go to your room which is identical to your military school or bootcamp and it's an immediate shock for a woman formerly accustomed to suits, ties, and programmatics, but alternatively, paradise for a woman coming off the streets.  They gave me a couple days to recover and I was informed it was going to be an intensive treatment program.  Now, my drug use was considered a relapse (a single use), so I didn't need a detox program, like many hard-core addicts/users, but I figured since I'd had a problem in the past, it could only help.  I would've been better served at a homeless shelter, but those are few and far between and couldn't be found in San Diego.  The typical Veteran in need of VVSD services are required to have a problem with drugs or alcohol and not just need shelter.  

Everything is provided at VVSD - Food, Clothing, and Shelter, and is free to the resident, but it isn't without extreme difficulty and commitment required from the resident.  I understood the expectation was to stay drug and alcohol free when I signed on and had hoped to find a friendly welcoming environment for someone with a Mental Health problem, but I was sadly disappointed in my 6 month stay there.

Goals, Objectives:  Gain Tools to Remain Drug Free; Obtain Shelter; and Stabilize.
Outcome:  Homelessness, Another instance of PTSD and Suicide Attempt.

I was lucky to get a bed in a room with 3 other (umm, ladies) that were dealing with withdrawals, drama, anger, hate, resentment, superiority complexes, shock, pain, hurt - whatever - so there wasn't hardly a day without conflict. In fact, it was more dangerous there than being a woman alone on the streets.  I can't calculate the ratio of men to women, but it was horrible -  10% women; 100 men to 10 women?  So, there was the added element of sexual harassment/intimidation, fear, the true minority.  The environment is detrimental and NOT RECOMMENDED for victims of past sexual trauma/violence.



On the plus side, you get 3 meals a day of the highest carb count in the world, you get to work in the kitchen for no pay (that is or should be illegal by the way - it's called EXPLOITATION of workers or formerly known as SLAVERY) and you must abide by every rule, and enjoy no privacy (or HIPPA Violations) when a complaint is brought forth to unqualified staff. Personally, I thought I would find the camaraderie, structure, and encouragement I had enjoyed while serving, but I did not.  It seemed more like a government run, monkey prison or test site of vets on lock-down with no opportunity to earn an income before 6 or 9 months of "treatment."

The majority of residents seemed committed and able with the exception of a few violent offenders.

How It Works (or Doesn't Work)
The curriculum was under development during my tenure there, so I'm not certain it was ever improved, but it consisted of a FULL 8 HOUR/5 DAY Drug Education, Prevention, Spirituality and the classes offered a venue for the group to talk about what led them to drug use and a means to recognize triggers of use. Personally, the more exposure to Drugs and Alcohol as a subject, along with the horror stories - 8 hours a day seemed to create a want that wasn't there for me previously, hate and more anger, than I had before entering the program.  Many were triggered when watching movies or just discussing the ugliness of drugs.  
Just the word METH, HEROIN, SEX and VIOLENCE were emotional triggers.  Sometimes group discussions led to the war experience and sometimes topics of more philosophical nature since we all wondered why we did what we did and how we could be forgiven by our Higher Power, Others and Selves.  Much learning was centered around identifying your higher power, re-learning values, and how the drugs changed us physiologically, emotionally and spiritually.

It was difficult to be in a group session with men discussing their addiction and sex acts while using drugs, but I suppose they needed a venue to let go of those transgressions.  I learned to put myself aside and focus on getting through it.  This makes me wonder if Co-Ed Drug Treatment is more traumatizing than good.  I still don't know, but as a survivor of sexual abuse, it was yet another trigger/obstacle to overcome or desensitize me.

12 Steps Model - VVSD has not completed the 1st Step
The Program Encourages the Use of 12 Steps and requires 1 per day/6 per week AA or NA meetings using the 12 steps, but the Daily Curriculum only included one class on the Steps or the "Big Book" which only met once per week.  The daily AA/NA Meetings were the same stories by the same people and after a few weeks seem to be more like social parties - reminiscing of our downfalls.  I had a few laughs, but quickly lost interest in the program.  I felt cured of my desire for drugs and alcohol.  I didn't have any money to go for a drink anyway!  6 months in the program and I only know step one - admit you have a problem.

Intensive Program/TREATMENT
The intensity of the program is high and seemingly impossible because it is a 7 day a week non-stop education and immersion of Drug Education and 12 steps - can you imagine a whole year?  Personally, it did not work well for a patient suffering from a Mental Health Disorder.  The only support for Depression, PTSD, or Sexual Trauma was a once per week intimate Co-Ed group and a weekly counseling session with an Intern that was younger than me.  There was no education or support tailored to PTSD, Depression, Schitzophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, or Disassociative Disorder.  In fact, there seemed to be consequences for sufferers of disorders and the consequences were hospitalization or arrest if you couldn't meet the 7 day per week requirements and acted out verbally or physically.


Case Management/Treatment Plans

The treatment plan was generic - consisting of Goals and Objectives for the duration of the program.  You were required to meet weekly with the Case Manager to set the goals and discuss progress, but everyone had the same goal.

1.  Go To the Required Classes (the schedule was changing regularly and I couldn't hardly keep up).
2.  Get a Sponsor on the Outside at a Meeting
3.  Go To 6 AA/NA Meetings Per Week - 3 being off-site.

The schedule was similar to going to school full time during the day and going to a 2 hour meeting every night - absolutely exhausting and proved impossible for this mental health patient.  There was very little spare time and there were strict rules against being in your room from 8-5pm or missing class.  When you have depression or anxiety - you sometimes are better off ALONE - not smothered by Program Directors violating your living space.  If you can't make it, you're on the streets.

Ezekiel 34:4
"You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally."

A Nightmare of a Program
Each resident was required to request a pass for every outside meeting, document your meetings, and class attendance so that when you met with your Case Manager, you could say you met program goals. Count it - that's 7 passes a week, plus tracking my own classes, plus digesting what was being said, plus managing my PTSD and dealing with the homeless mentalities of my fellow veterans.  Some were great, but most were a disgrace.

Tracking was just a numbers game for me; an organizational nightmare with schedules changing on a regular basis, dealing with symptoms of my disorder, dealing with new symptoms from the immersion into constant negative topics, negative people, depression settings, and staff that were less qualified than me.  Plus, add working in the kitchen once a week for 3 shifts without pay on top of it, Maintenance Men coming into my room unannounced, yelling in my face and sexual advances from nasty men, staff members talking behind your back to other residents.  Yep - The Best Treatment Facility In the World - NOT EVEN CLOSE..  I lasted 6 months before I put my hand to paper on all of the problems.  

Did I mention the resident on the website cover in the Video asked me if I was ever raped and if I enjoyed it?  -- What's a girl to do with that?  I can't even look at the website without another trigger.

Problems with Staff
The management level was comparable to high school students.  Just an embarrassment to the City and definitely not the "Best Treatment Center in the World" as they like to make you say every week in the community meeting.  Sexual harassment, verbal abuse, intimidation, privacy violations.  Disgusting.

Employment Program
An absolute joke for any one with a degree.  After 6 months, you get to sign up for USA Jobs and hope you get something.  It was facilitated by a crusty old drunken retired sailor who openly complained she'd been doing her job for too long.  My only enjoyment was standing up in front of class restating my qualifications.  Atleast that 5 minutes was good for my self esteem.

Counseling
There is a full counseling staff of interns.  Only the management are degreed professionals, but to me, they're just a layer of money chasers, or directors of programs with no true "performance standards" to say whether or not their program is effective.  My 6 month study confirms it's ineffectiveness.

Medication/Medical Portion of the Program
Medical problems were handled by the VA, but there was also a Family Support Center handling physicals. So, here you have an overlap and no coordination between local and military programs.  Seemed redundant to me.  I get my medical care from the VA, but I could understand the need for hepatitis testing, TB Test, and basic nursing at the local site.  I just couldn't understand why it wasn't being handled by the VA.

If you were prescribed something, you were forced to take it - leaving zero room for self managed care.  I had depression, but I enjoy the freedom of deciding what works for me and what doesn't.  Force makes me more hyper-vigilant and I know this about my disorder and myself.  In fact, ultimately, I was arrested an hospitalized for not taking Prozac and for writing a document outlining the problems with the program.  I didn't physically or verbally threaten anyone, I just couldn't make it to class sometimes.  They rashly determined the program wasn't for me and told me I had to leave, even though I had no where to go.   Last time I checked, I fought for Freedom not Force.  Obviously, I'm still fighting.




Don't forget the Program advertises it's purpose is to "assist homeless veterans who have substance abuse and/or mental health issues"  -  CLEARLY A FAILURE to anyone that hits a point of depression.

I was told I could not return to the Program after hospitalization.  They packed up my belongings and I had to fight to get them back.  Some of my items were missing, but what concerned me most was the fact that I was back on the streets after 6 months of devoting myself to rehabilitation.  I was seeking rehab from instability mostly since my drug use was just a small relapse.  I didn't get that from VVSD.  I got another instance of Post Traumatic Stress.

Luke 15:4
4"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 

Here's the Problem - Another Government Program flaunting it's great contribution and dedication to helping our Veterans, but truly only making matters worse.

I wasn't the only one treated so poorly and unjustly.  There were others I witnessed and I guess that's why I'm so upset.  I can bounce back and just add it to my CLAIM that they promised, but have failed to help with, but when you see it happen to more than just one person - you realize it's a problem.

I did appreciate the shelter and the community involvement.  VVSD has a softball team and is highly active in community events such as walks, runs, and other activities if you can get past the attitudes, organizational nightmares, and the need to request permission to do something fun.

This goes in the FRAUD, WASTE, and ABUSE bucket.  VVSD - Fraud with some benefits.

Also - Two deaths to suicide just prior to my arrival; two men were kicked out for fighting; 2 were lost to relapse and me - lost to a breakdown.  I attempted suicide only 2 months following my exit to the program and I live to tell about it today in hopes of making it better for others.

VVSD doesn't work and it doesn't work because it's not a therapeutic environment.  It is not fit for PTSD survivors, military sexual trauma survivors, or others struggling with mental health disorders.  And you don't arrest victims of PTSD or those having a bout of depression.  You learn from YOSEMITE SAM and just back the fuck off - allow a cooling off and try again the next day.

I don't recommend it if you seek positive reinforcement and recommend VVSD take a close look at positiveness, 'intensive' treatment,  and how stress dramatically changes the chance of a Veteran's success. Zero tolerance and a kickout policy just continues to contribute to the problems of homelessness and doesn't help break the cycle of abuse.


Veterans Shelter (Also Ran by VVSD)
I had to stay there temporarily until I went to the Veterans Stand Down and found VVSD.  I about shit my pants when I found it was ran by residents of the Drug Treatment Facility VVSD.  It was the most disgusting place known to mankind.  Ratio of men to women:  50:2. It was a tent, with outhouses, portable showers - true combat environment.  They kicked me out ON THE STREETS for drinking in my rack.  I slept on the beach for 2 nights in the rain.  I'd like to apologize to the owner of the boat I crawled into on that one cold night, but I'd like to thank him for the Soda Pop.  You made my day Sailor and I finally met Jesus.

Their website says "Mental health counseling is available every night."  Yeah right!  Hardy Harr Harr!!  Move on smartly VVSD - you are liars, but thanks for the shit food and loss of faith in Vet Programs - we treat our Dogs better than this.

















Thursday, July 17, 2014

Obama Phones - Oh Baby, The Places We Will Go!

Necessary Evil or Waste of Money?

If you're up on government programs, then you probably have an opinion on the Obama Phone.  I have an expert personal opinion because I've been on both sides of the fence, having worked major Government Telecom Programs and also as an end-user or straggler as we'll call it in this article.  The phones are for the lower class that are on welfare.  My highly conservative Big Brother thinks it's a waste of tax payer dollars and mocks the idea, but the Independent Sister thinks it's a fantastic idea if the program is administered and used properly.

To get the Obama Phone, you must be receiving Government Benefits, aka Welfare and be part of the Universal Lifeline Service.  I am a big supporter of this program which used to just be a discount on your Telecom bill, but has simply grown along with the Mobile Technologies Industry. They are just cheap little "burn phones" like the one Kevin Spacey uses in "House of Cards" to do his dirty work.  Just use it and throw it away.  Good citizens like to use them to make healthcare appointments, stay in touch with family members, be notified in emergencies, be able to contact authorities and maybe even use them for drug deals, etc.  Struggling moms probably use them to keep in touch with their babies' caregivers, but the BEST citizens use them to get out of the welfare system and back on their feet.  So, as long as the Obama Phone Program is connected to the Welfare to Work Program - I support it, but it needs improvement.

I have no insight into the Program Cost, so I can't say whether or not it's a total waste, but I can say that I've been in dyer need of a phone and saw the requirement.  When you look at Homelessness, Poverty and other problems facing the low class, you realize you have to offer the right tools to navigate back to the middle class.  Some have never been there, but we have a social responsibility to make sure we have what we need to succeed.  We are the land of opportunity, but only if we have the tools to be successful and although some may disagree, it falls on the responsibility of the government.  In the digital age, it's impossible to find work without a phone, so it would be nearly impossible to see America rise without giving citizens the chance.  Perhaps a total packaged solution to take a citizen from low class to middle class might be better than these little one off programs, but it's a start.

I can't seem to get one for the life of me because every time I try, I'm denied because of my address or location or lack of evidence - I don't know.  I've given up.  But, I hear you can get a free phone and 200-500 free minutes depending upon the provider and God only knows how many providers have their hands in this pot.  Either way - the program has failed me personally.  I just hope that it's properly managed, otherwise it's a flat out waste of money.    But, again, it's a Government Program, so you can bet your sweet ass that it's mismanaged.

I'm one of those citizens that believes she'll only be down temporarily and I'll find my way back to the top or at least the middle and I strive to do the best until I got sick and couldn't work.  I started to look at the system as a whole and I found so many disconnects and discrepancies and for awhile it made me sicker.  Then I just said screw it - House of Cards is one of my favorite shows, so I might as well be a journalist (or broke ass blogger) and write about these problems, praying for my sexy Mister Politician to pay attention and take action.  If I'm lucky, he'll throw me into the subway and finally put me out of my misery, but probably not.  He cares as much as I do.

So, why even bother writing about the Obama Phone?  Because I think I've stumbled onto a good purpose of two or three programs merging together for the greater good of our nation.  Hopefully you're not sleeping in a cardboard box, but if you are, then get to the nearest shelter and stabilize.   Once you've establish residency and get to the local Welfare Office for food stamps right away.

Get the Obama Phone as soon as you get your card and if you're not being blacklisted by the CIA, then you have a good chance of getting the phone.  If not, then contact the local Communications Office to sort it out.  Obviously the right hand needs to merge with the left or it's going to be a total disaster.  Meaning, if the Welfare Office and the Communications Office are not in good coordination, then it's another wasted program.

Now I'm not suggesting I'm a genius or anything, but here's a grand idea.  Get ONE CARD that provides access to the WELFARE TO WORK.  For those that are not aware of that program - those items are Food, Shelter, Cash & Telecom Assistance, Clothing, and Work Programs.  This program is designed for SHORT TERM use and is necessary to eliminate the low class.

I tried to just write about the Obama Phone, but it breaks my heart to see so many programs for the low class but such lack of coordination.  The hater in me wants to just kill them all, but that would include suicide.  We have a social responsibility to take care of our less fortunate but we're doing such a poor job it's become a waste.

PHONE TRACKING.  I saw a perfect opportunity to regulate this Obama Phone program and to ensure it is being used for the right purpose.  If we had a social status on our cards, then we would know the current state of America's citizens and we'd be better equipped to raise the nation out of this mess.  Clearly we're not going to just wipe them off the map - or we would've done that by now, and since we love Government Programs so much, it's time to give it some heart.

Let's merge the CENS program with all phones and add another element to it - Social Status Tracking.  Flag all Obama Phones and run a short study on usage.  Law Enforcement just might be able to catch some good drug deals and we might begin to make full use of our Global Position System to truly position our nation to become the most elite group of citizens known to man.  The sky is the limit.  Do you have a mind intelligent enough to see the possibilities of these programs?

Homelessness and Joblessness are a part of National Security and should be handled as such in order to improve our efforts in recovering from the recession and position us to move forward into financial freedom.

If this is just a statewide program - then I highly recommend our Feds get moving on it and take over.  I'll write more about how we can use CENS to as an element necessary to fight the war on Poverty after I get over my anguish of knowing the Government is asking me to Register a Phone Provided by the Government?  Hopefully we can get a leader in charge that just requires it once the program has been refined.





Project Connect Homeless Fair - Phoenix

July 17th, 2014
My Status:  Homeless, but housed Woman Veteran; Unable to Work, Suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/Depression, receiving zero monetary benefits.
Level of Education:  Bachelor's Degree
Age:  38

Event:
Project Connect Fair at Grace Church in Tempe Arizona

My Expectation/Hope:  Clothing, Job Resources, Anything to help improve my state of mind.
My Outcome:  Panic Attack and Increased Hatred for our People and System.  Less Faith Church Programs and Stand-Downs/Help Fairs.

I have been waiting a year and a half for help from the Department of Veteran's Affairs to approve my claim for Post Traumatic Stress.  I've been diagnosed 8 times by private doctors, but SURPRISE, the VA's dragging it's feet. If you watch the news, then you've heard the problems facing our Veterans.  This story is not about another VA failure, but another unhelpful "Help The Homeless" efforts put on by the community.  It's time these people get a clue.

I hope you can gain a better perspective from our community (HOMELESS VETERANS/WOMEN IN NEED) and fix these dog and pony shows to make it more worthwhile and help us get less sick.

Just entering a big building standing next to smelly homeless people makes me sick.  To be blunt, "they" are the lowest life forms on the planet - so it's natural to want to puke after standing in a line for an hour next to fat and ugly dirtbags, not to mention large crowds trigger me and I want to start screaming obscenities about filth.  I do my best to laugh, breath, count, etc, but I seem to lose my mind every time.   I call the homeless population "they" because I am not one of them and I'm certain I am not alone.  Even if I were on the streets, I'm still not one of them at heart.  Perhaps "they" were once like me; leading a normal life, successful businessman/woman, doing what society expects from us; like work, building a family, living the American Dream, etc.  I've found most homeless people were once middle class citizens who worked for a living and had kids, showered everyday, wore decent clothes, but something tragic happened. Whatever it is or was job loss, tragedy, injury, illness, whatever - knocked us down to the "Low Class/No Class" level.  What breaks my heart the most - is seeing our Veterans go through this.  I met a nice one on the way in, baffled by his ankle monitoring bracelet.  His PTSD got to him and he still pays for it.  We talked about the two wars he's served in and my heart saddens with the fact that we're both standing there in the line with homeless people.  He mentions we just spent 7 trillion on the development of a major aircraft and that amount of money could house every homeless veteran in the United States. I'm happy to hear this insight, but mad that we fight and the Government spends it's money on fighter planes to replace us.  They have failed to take care of us and continue to run forward with ways to phase us out.  That's a whole 'nother article in itself.

Personally, I expect to be taken care of by the people and the government after having served.  I was expected to take care of you, and now I believe it's your turn to take care of us.  I've given it my all to pick myself back up after these tragedies and staying pretty, happy and healthy has been a job in itself.  Honestly, staying pretty isn't that hard when I'm naturally blessed and GOD knows not everyone is - especially the homeless, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve a fighting chance and Housing a Homeless person is not the single solution to this problem.

I'm housed and I've tried to keep my class, cleanliness, drive to succeed, etc., but I suffer from depression, so getting back to middle class hasn't been easy.  I can't work and I notice I'm just getting worse, so that's why I go to these dog and pony shows - in hopes of somehow finding my way back to the Middle Class.  Homelessness not only hurts our eyes, but it hurts my heart, society, and I think I've finally figured out the reason.  The "normal" people don't have a clue how to solve the problem and now having been there countless times, I think I've finally come up with a solution.

Before I get to the solution, first I have to tell you a little bit about the latest Dog and Pony show brought to you by Project Connect.  I promise you'll get a laugh or two and hopefully gain some inspiration to help make the change.  Have you read their website?  More Info Overload - Garbage. They didn't even advertise such a big event.  I mean, crap even Corey from FOX News 10 was there.  I can't wait to read his positive/flowery story about the church and how bad the problem is.

It was held at Grace Community Church in Tempe.  The grounds were large enough to accommodate the whole Phoenix Homeless Population and I'm sure the congregation is just the happiest bunch of middleclassmen in the world.  I observed cute and clean young men and pretty blond girls and women of all ages all wearing their United T-Shirts.  Gave me such a warm and fuzzy feeling inside to see what I thought were NORMAL people.  Conflicting feelings came up of thanks and anger, knowing I'll never be like them again - nor would I want to.  After about an hour of waiting in line and filling out their intake form, my neurons started firing at rapid speed and panic attack hit and I couldn't tell what bothered me worse, the ugly people or the pretty people, the waiting game or the force of conformity to 'their rules.'  Either way, I knew I'd have to write this off.  I guess my purpose is to blow the cover of those writing this event off as a contribution to the community - more waste of taxpayer dollars.

Finally In the Building
Welcome Miss Wilson, take this bracelet and enjoy breakfast in a room of 150 smelly people and wait for your own personal chaperon (pretty people) to help you through the fair.  I don't know what I envisioned, but what I got was pissed off.  First - they're out of breakfast and have offered me french toast with jelly and a nasty pastry with yellow frosting.  I could puke just describing it. Secondly, drawing from my 'event planning' and attending experience, I could already see this was going to be a flop - emotional highs and lows, anger, frustration, maybe something good finally?

I was troubled by the idea of being separated by my group and I was being asked to wait to spend the day with a chaperon/total stranger.  I started to panic, looking for my group and Ms. Pretty wanted to force me into the room when my other's had already gotten through somehow. I felt caged in - imprisoned.  They could've just done an intake interview and guided me to the locations that could help - but I guess their idea was to pair me up with some Christian to hug me and tell me things were gonna be okay.  I walk my walk solo, so my reaction -- was no thanks and I was starting to get pissed off at even Jesus.

Off on the mini-shuttle.  I thought to myself - what a joke.  The staging area was breakfast only and hurry up and wait for your personal guide to send you across campus to lunch.  Nice thought at first, but created panic - definitely not PTSD friendly - WEIRD!  I also suffer from separation anxiety - being left behind in a war causes that.  Where are my people - I'm being attacked by nasty homeless and pretty volunteers in shirts, forcing me in a room with nasty food - separating me from my driver. Deep breaths Ms. Wilson.   I took it upon myself to go against the rules, because just one hour into it, I'm hot, angry, and disgusted.  I find the shuttle and we meetup in the lunch area, passing a shower booth.  Thank God, the dirty have a chance to shower up.

Showers brought to you by Shower Power - all pretty with their booth of advertising garbage for I look at the email address of the company - same name as my rapist.  Nice move God.  Thanks, but no thanks - first hit by enemy fire.  My combat skills kick in - quick, locate the positive - the dirty people can get a shower.  They should've located it at the entrance point.
the next dog and pony show.  I wonder to myself - why don't they just drive down to the local homeless shelter and around the city everyday?   And what on earth are their advertising materials going to do for me?  Totally self serving.

LUNCH IS SERVED
I was expecting something good, catered maybe?  Phoenix is the largest city in the State; the home
of some very large corporations who can foot the bill to feed atleast 300 you would think.  Maybe I was hoping for the days of the old with like Subway at the least or Church's Chicken supporting the event, but interestingly enough - it turned out to be Joke #2.  Nope, stand in line for a choice of the smallest single piece of BBQ or Fried Chicken covered in fat skin or a nasty boiled hot dog and a bag of chips.  My fight or flight response kicked in, but naturally, I decided to stay.  I enjoyed my fatty chicken assessing the environment.  Homeless people paired up with pretty people in white shirts - Chaperons chillin with their mini Bibles.  I wonder if they're selling Jesus or tangible help. I'm kind of pissed off at God right now for the Holy War and putting me in this position, but other's might need it.

Time to Hit the Booths
My situational awareness is high, I've been through this before.  Booths everywhere with cards and beautifully printed brochures - I'm not on the lookout for warfare - just mad, my enemy will not keep me down.

As a Homeless Veteran, you go to these things hoping for help - immediate action - my driver killed that opportunity - I have 10 minutes to get what I need.  Wait, isn't he a member of the 'help the homeless community' and doesn't he know I suffer from PTSD and can't get around?  My mission quickly shifts to blowing the whistle and making a wasteland of the whole concept of a Homeless Fair and 'help for the homeless programs in general.  I gather my materials, photographs, and exit the building.

We military types hate wasting time and when we're forced to, the good ones develop Hurry Up
and Wait Syndrome and if there's no positive outcome, then it's typically called Fraud, Waste or Abuse.  I categorize this event in the WASTE bucket.  So, I put myself in the shoes of an actual homeless person living on the streets and put on the hat as a journalist.  Is this beneficial for 'that girl' or 'that guy'?  Does a business card and brochure help a homeless person? I guess we could all use our Obama Phones once we get back to our couch or cardboard box to chase the American Dream, but I'm concerned about the ones that can't and the ones that don't.  That is why I call these events dog and pony shows.  We really don't want your advertising materials, you can give that to your funders.   Some of the population lack the motivation and the know how to get these needs met so the problem might need to be tackled by force.

So the good old regulars were there - Department of Economic Security.  Please fill out the form and go to the long line at the DES office at a later date to get your foodstamp card.  I could've just went straight to that office and accomplished that in one day on my own.  In fact, I did do that, but it actually took 3 trips to get food money.  I could destroy that welfare program in another article.

Housing Programs
Yep, they were there.  The regulars like the city's homeless Shelter (CASS), other housing programs, even ones for Veterans.  That's great, I'm glad they've decided to come sit around for a day, although I think they're better used in mobile forces to really attack the enemy.  Wouldn't it be awesome to create a whole Combat Team with a Mission of just picking up the sick, homeless, and impoverished and get them to safety and back on their feet?  If I put it together, I know it would be fun.  We certainly wouldn't provide you a form and offer you the hurry up and wait syndrome.  We would just take you directly to the open bed - ready for re-entry or entry to the path of success.

Housing Providers offering Business Cards/Brochures:  WASTE.
Upward Bound - Military Education Program - waste - I have my degree and am way too old for the GI Bill.  If a veteran knows they have the GI Bill, then we already know we can spend it.  Give us more credit and take your brochures elsewhere.  Most know that we can profit from our GI Bill and use it to take care of ourselves.  Offer us something worthwhile.  They say fully funded, but you know we pay the price through our GI Bill.

Grand Veterans Village - Housing Programs
Take a brochure and wait in line.  I'm assuming it's longer than a 4 month waiting list like the VA Healthcare System.  No thanks.  Got immediate assistance for a woman woman living in a run down unsafe living environment?  Sign me up, but STOP CALLING US FEMALE VETERANS. We hate it.

Campus Kitchen - Successful Program but Scary Thought
I've heard several success stories from the Campus Kitchen, but Food Service is probably not the best industry for the homeless population.  Just think of that citizens! Training the homeless population to serve you food.  Excellent choice right off the street.  Yum!

The Real Solution
We could use our little mobile combat systems and GPS' and fleet vehicles to pickup and transport our people to the closest shelter, get them the medic/showers as needed or directly to your housing program that sets you up with every service you need to normalize.  Get them some haircuts, suits, high heels, prozac and send them off back into basic training on how to be normal citizen again - with a job that pays.  I'm certain we could use the recruit command model to locate jobs for the homeless population.  We're definitely going to need a counseling service to get through the trauma and stay motivated.

But nope, our missionaries are still sitting around in unsuspecting buildings at random times bringing people together to put a bandaid on their wound - here - sign up for the waiting list.  It's more of a smack in the face to just offer business cards, applications, and an even bigger slap in the face to allow companies like WELLS FARGO to attend.  More pretty people offering stuff that homeless and impoverished people have zero use for. I can't get a flippin job, let alone a bank account.  WASTE.

I think my suggestion is to just stop using Churches to do the dirty work.  Get a Homeless Combat Team and nurse these casualties back to health.  It's a war on poverty and we can't win it if we don't have the right combat skills.  Either fix the problem or kill us all, but stop throwing us your advertising materials and asking us to wait in line.

If you have the beds, then find the homeless and fill it.  If you have a facility, then offer a full spectrum program to first meet the basic needs from Welfare and then migrate to a full working class citizen status.  Until then, the War continues and our government continues to fail the people and WE ALL pay the price.